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If it worked for their pussies, why not my arse. I went into my bedroom and squeezed some KY Jelly on to my hand. Returning to the vacuum cleaner, I smeared the thick plastic handle with the jelly. I wedged the Hoover into the corner of the wall and then lowered the handle so that it was almost touching the floor. I was suddenly very excited and aroused by the sheer crudeness of what I was about to do. I pulled my slacks down to my knees and a very wet slab of kitchen towel fell on to the carpet. I got down on to my hands and knees and lined my arse up with the handle. Reaching back with my foot, I hit the on/off switch. Immediately the handle started to vibrate as the cleaner hummed into life.Slowly, and holding the handle still with one hand, I backed myself on to the slippery plastic grip. The effect was instant and startling in its power. The thick round shaft of the handle slipped easily up my gaping arsehole and began buzzing and tingling inside me. I let out a groan of. It will definitely put me on her mind … and on her radar. I also decide to come up with something more creative for a first date than dinner and a movie. Something to get her little heart racing. But what? I turn to my books, and tomorrow’s assignment and vow to work something out later. I meet Jake at the pub again the next night, instead of calling Gillian. ‘Mike! What the hell! Are you crazy? You didn’t call her?’ ‘I just thought it might seem a little overly urgent and needy to call her on command. I’ll call her tomorrow night, but I have to come up with something to wow her on the first date. Any suggestions?’ ‘Well, I just take ’em out for a few drinks to get them loosened up, and then try to get them into the sack. Works more often than not Mike!’ ‘Wow, Jake! That’s magnificent! Are you shitting me … get her loosened up hoping to get her in the sack? That’s your idea?’ ‘Well, yeah. It works, sometimes.’ ‘What kind of a wingman comes up with a bullshit suggestion like.
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